is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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