Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
