even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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