I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Randomize
