I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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