the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
