4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
