we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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