So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
