there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
