I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
