I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
