I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
