New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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