Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
