Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
