Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
