So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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