Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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