im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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