dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
