Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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