How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
