whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
