He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The air was thick with penises
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
