i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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