I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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