This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
