Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
