I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
