I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
