Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
