Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
