sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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