Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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