No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh god it's open bar.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
