I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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