If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
