im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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