I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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