I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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