alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
