no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
