Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
