He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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