the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
