physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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