I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
