someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there's paper in my vomit.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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