I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
