we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
