haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
