We named our party play list daddy issues
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
