I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
