Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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