Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
be right there i have to get my cape
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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