He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize