So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
